I'm still working on a name for my blog. "Imperfect Perfection" and "Vanilla with a Dash of Sass" tied in my poll. Other thoughts have been "Green is the new Black", "Becoming" and "In the Moment". It's silly that this matters to me, but it does. The name debate continues.
Monday, January 28, 2008
On and on and on....
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Better Late than Never
Tuesday was the 35th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, not sure how I missed that. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m Pro-Choice. That doesn’t mean I’m Pro Abortion, it means I’m Pro-Choice. When you think about it, really think about, who in their right mind is pro abortion? No one thinks about their future and jumps up and down with anticipation over the possibility of getting an abortion. No one wants to make that choice. Some people, based on circumstances beyond their control, or within their control, have to make it. You might find this odd, coming from someone who worked so hard to achieve pregnancy and children, but the thing is safe abortions save the lives of a lot of women. Think about the women who are pregnant and experiencing medical issues that could take their lives and the lives of their unborn children. Think about the women who are pregnant and don’t want to be, who in other times would take matters into their own hands and perform a DIY abortion. Because of these reasons and many others, hundreds of blogs took part in Bloggers for Choice day Tuesday, explaining why they vote Pro-Choice.
http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/choice-action-center/bfc08-home.html
http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/choice-action-center/bfc08-home.html
* I vote Pro-Choice because I believe each woman should be able to decide what occurs within her body.
* I vote Pro-Choice because I believe there are women who shouldn’t be forced to carry a pregnancy, ie pregnancy due to rape, women who find out their child will have an illness that will cause the child to just live a couple hours or days, women who’s own health is in jepardy because of a pregnancy.
*I vote Pro-Choice because I believe that if abortion is made illegal it opens the door for other things to be made illegal, such as emergency contraception, comprehensive sex education, and certain forms of birth control.
*I vote Pro-Choice because if a woman doesn’t want a baby and is forced to carry one, who knows what she might eat, drink, smoke, inject in hopes of causing harm to the child and therefore causing a miscarriage. Think about the disabilities that child could have if it survived.
*I vote Pro-Choice because I vote for women’s rights in a day when most of our government is still male dominated.
* I vote Pro-Choice because I believe there are women who shouldn’t be forced to carry a pregnancy, ie pregnancy due to rape, women who find out their child will have an illness that will cause the child to just live a couple hours or days, women who’s own health is in jepardy because of a pregnancy.
*I vote Pro-Choice because I believe that if abortion is made illegal it opens the door for other things to be made illegal, such as emergency contraception, comprehensive sex education, and certain forms of birth control.
*I vote Pro-Choice because if a woman doesn’t want a baby and is forced to carry one, who knows what she might eat, drink, smoke, inject in hopes of causing harm to the child and therefore causing a miscarriage. Think about the disabilities that child could have if it survived.
*I vote Pro-Choice because I vote for women’s rights in a day when most of our government is still male dominated.
*I vote Pro-Choice….always have, always will. I’m thankful I’ve never had to make that choice, and thankful that the choice is mine.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Funk
I’ve been in a bit of a post holiday funk. The weeks leading up to the holidays were full, busy, a little stressful and filled with fun events. Then we were traveling and enjoying great visits with each of our families. After arriving home, we celebrated New Year’s Eve with some of our best friends, and then celebrated M’s first birthday. Thanksgiving through early January was one big fun celebration with people who are important to us.
Now we’re home, it’s cold, nothing fun to look forward to, no plans for the upcoming months. I like to have plans, I like seeing our families, I like to have things to look forward to. When there’s nothing “in the works” I get grumpy. The bad thing is, when mommy’s in a funk the whole family is in a funk.
Recognizing it was time to pull myself out of my gloom, I started thinking about school again. I did some research, talked to some schools, and lo and behold I started feeling happy again. Excited. Alive. It’s not so much school that excites me, but the end result of a second degree, which in hindsight should have been my first.
I love my children and I love my life, but in a few years both kids will be in school and then what? I need to prepare now for that time. I struggle with feeling selfish. I don’t want to add bills to our family, I don’t want to miss out on family time, and I don’t want to put more of a burden on my already stressed husband. But, I really want to be an Interior Designer. My heart swells when I think about creating spaces where people will feel warm and happy. My fingers itch to create. My head thinks about global warming and how I could make a small difference through green design. My family is my passion, but so is design. As a mother, I feel guilty about that. As a woman, I feel blessed. I’m lucky to have such a great family and lucky that I’ve figured out, at a relatively young age, what I want to be when I grow up.
Now I just need to make it happen.
Now we’re home, it’s cold, nothing fun to look forward to, no plans for the upcoming months. I like to have plans, I like seeing our families, I like to have things to look forward to. When there’s nothing “in the works” I get grumpy. The bad thing is, when mommy’s in a funk the whole family is in a funk.
Recognizing it was time to pull myself out of my gloom, I started thinking about school again. I did some research, talked to some schools, and lo and behold I started feeling happy again. Excited. Alive. It’s not so much school that excites me, but the end result of a second degree, which in hindsight should have been my first.
I love my children and I love my life, but in a few years both kids will be in school and then what? I need to prepare now for that time. I struggle with feeling selfish. I don’t want to add bills to our family, I don’t want to miss out on family time, and I don’t want to put more of a burden on my already stressed husband. But, I really want to be an Interior Designer. My heart swells when I think about creating spaces where people will feel warm and happy. My fingers itch to create. My head thinks about global warming and how I could make a small difference through green design. My family is my passion, but so is design. As a mother, I feel guilty about that. As a woman, I feel blessed. I’m lucky to have such a great family and lucky that I’ve figured out, at a relatively young age, what I want to be when I grow up.
Now I just need to make it happen.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Saw this on Heather's Blog, thought I'd play along.
Looking for the perfect Bergdorf Goodman dishes to match your impeccable kitchen? Shopping at Tiffany's for a new string of pearls? Fantasizing about the perfect job as a New York City art gallery owner? Maybe not exactly, but when it comes to a refined taste and a sweetness like no other, you're just like Charlotte!
Of course you aren't all sugar; you've definitely got a tough heart under that pretty cashmere sweater, but you are probably happiest when you are surrounded by supportive relationships and a great romance (you only get two, you know!) So live it up, because you deserve nothing but the best in life, whether it's fine china or true love. Now that's some good taste!
Questions from a 6 year old
A recent conversation between Ry-guy, DM and I.
R: Mom, why did you feed my sister like a cow?
DM & Me: Laughter...and lots of it
R: Why are you laughing at me?
Me: Sorry. I fed M because I'm a mammal and mammals feed their babies with milk their body produces.
R: So...can I do it?
Me: Ummm, No.
R: Why not???
DM: Because you're a boy.
After a few moments of intense thought...
R: Maybe I should try it.
No response because DM and I had dissolved into laughter again.
R: Mom, why did you feed my sister like a cow?
DM & Me: Laughter...and lots of it
R: Why are you laughing at me?
Me: Sorry. I fed M because I'm a mammal and mammals feed their babies with milk their body produces.
R: So...can I do it?
Me: Ummm, No.
R: Why not???
DM: Because you're a boy.
After a few moments of intense thought...
R: Maybe I should try it.
No response because DM and I had dissolved into laughter again.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
What's in a name...
The name debate continues. My mom and stepdad read my blog and called to talk about the name change last night. My stepdad wanted to retract his vote because he feels like all the names are static. He said I should consider something that will continue to grow and change along with my life. My mom said I should include something about creativity, because that's what inspires me. Interestingly, I looked creative up in the thesauraus and a related word is fertility. Who knew? All along I thought I was fertilely challenged, but I guess I was just partially fertilely challenged.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
Did you know...Using reusable shopping bags can save the average American 300 to 700 plastic shopping bags per year, which will save 3 to 7 gallons of crude oil. A population of 100,000 can save up to 14,000 barrels of oil per year using reusable bags.
~Taken from ChicoBag, a maker of reusable bags.
Another bonus, reusable bags are generally easier to carry and can hold more which makes for fewer trips in from the car when unloading.
~Taken from my experience...:)
~Taken from ChicoBag, a maker of reusable bags.
Another bonus, reusable bags are generally easier to carry and can hold more which makes for fewer trips in from the car when unloading.
~Taken from my experience...:)
Cool Change...
Is The Little River Band song running through your head after that title? Just wait, you'll have a few more songs in your head by the end of this post.
It's time for a change. A new name to be exact. Fertilely challenged, while still fitting, isn't the focus of my world anymore. Thank goodness! The problem is, I've been thinking about this for months and can't seem to come up with a new name. Not that it should matter, not many people read this and the ones that do probably don't care about the title of this blog. It matters to me though.
When I think about my life song titles tend to run through my head, These are the Days" by Van Morrison, "Better Together" by Jack Johnson, "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls. All would be appropriate names but not unique. Remember how I stressed about choosing a unique name for Makenna? Well, here we go again.
So, I've come up with three titles and I'm going to let you guys weigh in, or comment and make suggestions of something better!
Here's what I've come up with:
Imperfect Perfection
Vanilla with a dash of Sass
Girly Granola
Imperfect Perfection. I've always been a people pleaser and a bit of a perfectionist, but no matter how hard I try I'll never be perfect. Infertility taught me that gem. That being said, my life is perfect...for me. I have a husband that loves me, two awesome kids, a great circle of family and friends, and all the material possessions I need. Sure there are things I want, things that bug me, things that I'd change, but that's why it's Imperfect Perfection.
Vanilla with a dash of Sass. For the most part, this blog is pretty vanilla, the language isn't too bad, the content isn't too crazy. But every once in awhile, a little sass comes out. I think that's pretty true for me in life too.
Girly Granola. I'm fairly girly with Granola/Crunchy/Hippie tendencies. 'Nuff said.
If you're so inclined, take the poll and give me your opinion.
It's time for a change. A new name to be exact. Fertilely challenged, while still fitting, isn't the focus of my world anymore. Thank goodness! The problem is, I've been thinking about this for months and can't seem to come up with a new name. Not that it should matter, not many people read this and the ones that do probably don't care about the title of this blog. It matters to me though.
When I think about my life song titles tend to run through my head, These are the Days" by Van Morrison, "Better Together" by Jack Johnson, "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls. All would be appropriate names but not unique. Remember how I stressed about choosing a unique name for Makenna? Well, here we go again.
So, I've come up with three titles and I'm going to let you guys weigh in, or comment and make suggestions of something better!
Here's what I've come up with:
Imperfect Perfection
Vanilla with a dash of Sass
Girly Granola
Imperfect Perfection. I've always been a people pleaser and a bit of a perfectionist, but no matter how hard I try I'll never be perfect. Infertility taught me that gem. That being said, my life is perfect...for me. I have a husband that loves me, two awesome kids, a great circle of family and friends, and all the material possessions I need. Sure there are things I want, things that bug me, things that I'd change, but that's why it's Imperfect Perfection.
Vanilla with a dash of Sass. For the most part, this blog is pretty vanilla, the language isn't too bad, the content isn't too crazy. But every once in awhile, a little sass comes out. I think that's pretty true for me in life too.
Girly Granola. I'm fairly girly with Granola/Crunchy/Hippie tendencies. 'Nuff said.
If you're so inclined, take the poll and give me your opinion.
Friday, January 04, 2008
They Say It's Your Birthday!!!
Dear Makenna,
Happy Birthday, you’re a year old now!!! Your birthday was spent like most of our days. Ry-guy was back at school, DM was back at work and you and I spent the day playing, grocery shopping and making a cake. We’ve been gone for the majority of the last couple weeks, so it was nice to be home and just hang out. When the boys got home from school and work we had dinner and watched you devour your cake. I can’t even guess at how many times you were sang to during the course of the day and each rendition of “Happy Birthday to You” made you smile and clap. You had a birthday party in Colorado with a number of family members in attendance; you picked at your store bought cake and enjoyed the attention. Ryan was right there when it was time to open your gifts. It’s a good thing he was willing to help, since you were enthralled by a piece of tissue paper. Now that we’re home, we’ll probably have a little gathering with a couple close friends. It’s been an exciting couple of weeks for you!
As for the final month of your first year, we spent much of it traveling. We drove, approximately 27 hours across the country so that we could spend time with lots of our family. The trip included time in Flagstaff, AZ where you met your Gramps and Grammy for the first time, as well as your Great Grandpa Craig and Great Grandma Mimi. You loved the dogs at Gramps and Grammy’s house and felt comfortable enough that G&G were even able to hold you. You also got to see and touch snow for the first time! Ryan was quite proud of this due to his serious fascination with snow. After a couple days in AZ we traveled to CO for the rest of our visit. The first couple days were spent with your Daddy’s family, all of your uncles, aunts and most of your cousins were there, along with Grandma and Grandpa. We counted 31 people! You met most of them for the first time and they all loved you. Separation anxiety still made an appearance but you let your cousin Britnay hold you and had fun playing with her daughter Ivy. Your uncles Gene and Allen tried and tried to pick you up but you stuck close to Mom and Dad the rest of the time. Then on to visit with Nana and Papa, uncle Colin, Andrea and Kenya Dog joining us again. (They were in Flagstaff too) You were a little overwhelmed by the whole present thing, but by the third go round you’d started to figure it out. Which was good because you got A LOT of presents this year. I was concerned you might be attracted to the wood burning stove at their house, but you barely looked its way. Instead you enjoyed lots of attention, plenty of toys and barely had time to find any mischief. The trip home was uneventful and loooooong. We were all so ready to be home that we barely stopped and made it home in 24 hours. I suppose I should mention that your dad and I both like to speed. I’ll deny that fact when you’re learning to drive.
We were home for a day and then packed up again so that we could spend New Year’s Eve with our closest friends. We all enjoyed ringing in the New Year together, you and Gracie enjoyed playing, and she was nice enough to let you sleep in her crib, allowing you to actually sleep while the ball dropped and the fireworks began. You woke up later, but we didn’t mind as we cuddled with you and welcomed another year.
It’s been an incredible month and year baby girl. I’m looking forward to all the things the year ahead will bring, walking, talking, sleeping through the night, maybe, playing, dancing, singing, fighting with your brother. Well, maybe not the fighting with your brother. I feel like I’ll never forget these days but just today I remembered something about your early months I’d already forgotten. When you were tiny, I’d hold you in my arms at night and you’d suck on my arm to fall asleep. I don’t think I’ve ever written that down. At the time it didn’t seem noteworthy, but now it’s a sweet memory. A couple more things, you were an amazing traveler during our cross-country trek, so much better than when we returned from Florida! You slept and played and didn’t fuss very much. You and Ryan made our trip so much better than I’d anticipated. Also, you haven’t started walking yet, but you “walk” on your knees and bounce up and down. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another baby do this. Your hair is coming in quickly now and it’s curly! Much to my delight! I hope I can teach you how to work with it so you don’t hate it as much as I hated mine. As an adult I love my curly hair, I hope you’ll appreciate yours much sooner.
Your one-year appt is Monday; I look forward to finding out how tall you are and how much you weigh. You’re firmly in 18-24 month clothes so I’d guess that you remain at the top of the charts.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl! I love you always!
Mommy
*Picture and measurements to follow after doctor's appt.
Happy Birthday, you’re a year old now!!! Your birthday was spent like most of our days. Ry-guy was back at school, DM was back at work and you and I spent the day playing, grocery shopping and making a cake. We’ve been gone for the majority of the last couple weeks, so it was nice to be home and just hang out. When the boys got home from school and work we had dinner and watched you devour your cake. I can’t even guess at how many times you were sang to during the course of the day and each rendition of “Happy Birthday to You” made you smile and clap. You had a birthday party in Colorado with a number of family members in attendance; you picked at your store bought cake and enjoyed the attention. Ryan was right there when it was time to open your gifts. It’s a good thing he was willing to help, since you were enthralled by a piece of tissue paper. Now that we’re home, we’ll probably have a little gathering with a couple close friends. It’s been an exciting couple of weeks for you!
As for the final month of your first year, we spent much of it traveling. We drove, approximately 27 hours across the country so that we could spend time with lots of our family. The trip included time in Flagstaff, AZ where you met your Gramps and Grammy for the first time, as well as your Great Grandpa Craig and Great Grandma Mimi. You loved the dogs at Gramps and Grammy’s house and felt comfortable enough that G&G were even able to hold you. You also got to see and touch snow for the first time! Ryan was quite proud of this due to his serious fascination with snow. After a couple days in AZ we traveled to CO for the rest of our visit. The first couple days were spent with your Daddy’s family, all of your uncles, aunts and most of your cousins were there, along with Grandma and Grandpa. We counted 31 people! You met most of them for the first time and they all loved you. Separation anxiety still made an appearance but you let your cousin Britnay hold you and had fun playing with her daughter Ivy. Your uncles Gene and Allen tried and tried to pick you up but you stuck close to Mom and Dad the rest of the time. Then on to visit with Nana and Papa, uncle Colin, Andrea and Kenya Dog joining us again. (They were in Flagstaff too) You were a little overwhelmed by the whole present thing, but by the third go round you’d started to figure it out. Which was good because you got A LOT of presents this year. I was concerned you might be attracted to the wood burning stove at their house, but you barely looked its way. Instead you enjoyed lots of attention, plenty of toys and barely had time to find any mischief. The trip home was uneventful and loooooong. We were all so ready to be home that we barely stopped and made it home in 24 hours. I suppose I should mention that your dad and I both like to speed. I’ll deny that fact when you’re learning to drive.
We were home for a day and then packed up again so that we could spend New Year’s Eve with our closest friends. We all enjoyed ringing in the New Year together, you and Gracie enjoyed playing, and she was nice enough to let you sleep in her crib, allowing you to actually sleep while the ball dropped and the fireworks began. You woke up later, but we didn’t mind as we cuddled with you and welcomed another year.
It’s been an incredible month and year baby girl. I’m looking forward to all the things the year ahead will bring, walking, talking, sleeping through the night, maybe, playing, dancing, singing, fighting with your brother. Well, maybe not the fighting with your brother. I feel like I’ll never forget these days but just today I remembered something about your early months I’d already forgotten. When you were tiny, I’d hold you in my arms at night and you’d suck on my arm to fall asleep. I don’t think I’ve ever written that down. At the time it didn’t seem noteworthy, but now it’s a sweet memory. A couple more things, you were an amazing traveler during our cross-country trek, so much better than when we returned from Florida! You slept and played and didn’t fuss very much. You and Ryan made our trip so much better than I’d anticipated. Also, you haven’t started walking yet, but you “walk” on your knees and bounce up and down. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another baby do this. Your hair is coming in quickly now and it’s curly! Much to my delight! I hope I can teach you how to work with it so you don’t hate it as much as I hated mine. As an adult I love my curly hair, I hope you’ll appreciate yours much sooner.
Your one-year appt is Monday; I look forward to finding out how tall you are and how much you weigh. You’re firmly in 18-24 month clothes so I’d guess that you remain at the top of the charts.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl! I love you always!
Mommy
*Picture and measurements to follow after doctor's appt.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
11 Months - Only two weeks late...
Dear Makenna,
Month 11 has come and gone and with holiday travel and festivities I’m just now getting to your 11 month post. A small case of mommy guilt comes with my procrastination.
This month had just a couple firsts worth mentioning. In no particular order, you started waving, you had your first near death experience and you met your Great Grandma.
The waving started one day and has yet to stop. You’re so proud of your new skill you wave to everything, whether it waves back or not. We all love it and encourage you to practice, practice, practice.
You met your Great Grandma during the Thanksgiving holiday. We converged upon her house in IL, along with all three of your uncles and their spouses/significant others, your Nana & Papa, and Papa’s sister’s family. GiGi (Great Grandma) was so busy with all the entertaining, cooking, cleaning etc, that you weren’t able to spend much time with each other, but she loved every minute of your time together. You, on the other hand, did well the first day but by the second you were a bit clingy with your daddy and I. While your separation anxiety can sometimes be difficult to deal with, there’s a part of me that cherishes this time because I know the day will come when you won’t want to be with us.
The rest of the month was fairly uneventful, other than the daily cuddles and kisses that always make my heart soar. You are such a cuddle bug and love to be held. You continue to initiate bunny kisses and now we even get the open mouthed kiss on a regular basis. You’re still crawling, however we can see you developing your sense of balance and you’re getting more daring. Amazingly enough, I think you made it through the entire month without teething! You’re at 8 teeth…and holding…however I think your eyeteeth will start causing some issues soon. I can feel your gums starting to swell.
As for your near death experience, well, I can be a little dramatic. You did have a pretty close call though. We’d been at a friend’s house and you managed to get hold of a little star sticker and put it in your mouth without me realizing. As we walked to the car, to pick Ryan up from school, I realized you were gasping and not getting any air. I swept your mouth, did the Heimlich maneuver and then you started throwing up. You probably threw up 20 or 30 times and finally the star came out. By the time it was over, we were both covered in puke and tears. I’m not sure if the tears on me were yours or mine. Either way, I know I hugged you extra tight for quite awhile after it was over.
You have been such a joy over the last month. I love watching you grow and change but I’m enjoying this stage so much that I hate that it’s passing so quickly. It’s hard to believe you’ll be turning ONE in just a few short weeks.
I love you Makenna,
Mama
Month 11 has come and gone and with holiday travel and festivities I’m just now getting to your 11 month post. A small case of mommy guilt comes with my procrastination.
This month had just a couple firsts worth mentioning. In no particular order, you started waving, you had your first near death experience and you met your Great Grandma.
The waving started one day and has yet to stop. You’re so proud of your new skill you wave to everything, whether it waves back or not. We all love it and encourage you to practice, practice, practice.
You met your Great Grandma during the Thanksgiving holiday. We converged upon her house in IL, along with all three of your uncles and their spouses/significant others, your Nana & Papa, and Papa’s sister’s family. GiGi (Great Grandma) was so busy with all the entertaining, cooking, cleaning etc, that you weren’t able to spend much time with each other, but she loved every minute of your time together. You, on the other hand, did well the first day but by the second you were a bit clingy with your daddy and I. While your separation anxiety can sometimes be difficult to deal with, there’s a part of me that cherishes this time because I know the day will come when you won’t want to be with us.
The rest of the month was fairly uneventful, other than the daily cuddles and kisses that always make my heart soar. You are such a cuddle bug and love to be held. You continue to initiate bunny kisses and now we even get the open mouthed kiss on a regular basis. You’re still crawling, however we can see you developing your sense of balance and you’re getting more daring. Amazingly enough, I think you made it through the entire month without teething! You’re at 8 teeth…and holding…however I think your eyeteeth will start causing some issues soon. I can feel your gums starting to swell.
As for your near death experience, well, I can be a little dramatic. You did have a pretty close call though. We’d been at a friend’s house and you managed to get hold of a little star sticker and put it in your mouth without me realizing. As we walked to the car, to pick Ryan up from school, I realized you were gasping and not getting any air. I swept your mouth, did the Heimlich maneuver and then you started throwing up. You probably threw up 20 or 30 times and finally the star came out. By the time it was over, we were both covered in puke and tears. I’m not sure if the tears on me were yours or mine. Either way, I know I hugged you extra tight for quite awhile after it was over.
You have been such a joy over the last month. I love watching you grow and change but I’m enjoying this stage so much that I hate that it’s passing so quickly. It’s hard to believe you’ll be turning ONE in just a few short weeks.
I love you Makenna,
Mama
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thankful
*I'm thankful for my husband. He's such a loving, caring, committed partner and an incredible dad. There are times that he can get through to Ryan after I've thrown up my hands in frustration. Not once has he made me feel unattractive or like I'm not good enough. He makes me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind too, and fully supports my career decisions. We kind of grew up together and I am so impressed by the man he's become.
*I'm thankful for my children. I can't imagine life without them and am so glad we had the strength emotionally, physically and financially to work so hard for them.
*I’m thankful for our family and their never ending support, listening ears, and shoulders to cry on during the “Year of the IVF”.
*I’m thankful for the infertility insurance package that my hubby’s employer provided that meant we were able to do 3 IVF’s in a year.
*I'm thankful for my family. Some of my best friends are family members.
*I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.
*I'm thankful for my friends. I have a lot of really great friends, some I’ve known for 25 years, others for just a couple, but all of them are awesome.
*I'm thankful for my lifestyle and that my hubby works so hard so that I can stay home with our kids right now.
*I'm thankful for my IPOD. Music speaks to me and gets me through tough times, I love that I have so much music on such a little gadget.
*I'm thankful for my mom’s group. It's introduced me to people and things I might not have been exposed to. It encourages me to use my brain occasionally. I enjoy the humor and tears we share and I always appreciate the community for myself and my kids.
*I’m thankful that after literally years of searching, I’ve finally found a church I love. It’s awesome to spend a couple hours Sunday morning thinking of the big picture in a new way.
*I’m thankful to be alive and healthy and able to enjoy this day with my family
*I'm THANKFUL!!!
*I'm thankful for my children. I can't imagine life without them and am so glad we had the strength emotionally, physically and financially to work so hard for them.
*I’m thankful for our family and their never ending support, listening ears, and shoulders to cry on during the “Year of the IVF”.
*I’m thankful for the infertility insurance package that my hubby’s employer provided that meant we were able to do 3 IVF’s in a year.
*I'm thankful for my family. Some of my best friends are family members.
*I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.
*I'm thankful for my friends. I have a lot of really great friends, some I’ve known for 25 years, others for just a couple, but all of them are awesome.
*I'm thankful for my lifestyle and that my hubby works so hard so that I can stay home with our kids right now.
*I'm thankful for my IPOD. Music speaks to me and gets me through tough times, I love that I have so much music on such a little gadget.
*I'm thankful for my mom’s group. It's introduced me to people and things I might not have been exposed to. It encourages me to use my brain occasionally. I enjoy the humor and tears we share and I always appreciate the community for myself and my kids.
*I’m thankful that after literally years of searching, I’ve finally found a church I love. It’s awesome to spend a couple hours Sunday morning thinking of the big picture in a new way.
*I’m thankful to be alive and healthy and able to enjoy this day with my family
*I'm THANKFUL!!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
NaBloPoMo
What’s that you’re wondering? It’s a promise, of sorts, in the Land ‘O Blog, a promise to write a post each day during the month of November for National Blog Posting Month. I briefly considered it. I’ve been a bad bad blogger lately. I thought signing up for NaBloPoMo might kick start my blogging juices and remind me that memories are good, no matter how big or small. I’ve had things on my mind that I wanted to write about and haven’t made the time. The thing is, writing is cathartic. It helps me remember things I don’t want to forget. It helps me feel closer to my family. It helps me think about things objectively. It helps me appreciate the joy in a moment a second time as I write about it. Besides, I enjoy it. So, bear with me as I try to get back into this blogging thing.
http://nablopomo.ning.com/ didn’t get my promise this year…maybe next year.
http://nablopomo.ning.com/ didn’t get my promise this year…maybe next year.
Friday, November 09, 2007
An Action Figure or a Rock Star
Often during our morning drive to school, Ryan picks a song that we listen to over and over. But we don't just listen, we seat dance, we sing along, we play "air instruments", we jam.
This mornings song was "I Like the Way You Move" by the Bodyrockers. Ryan pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, threw on some shades and rocked his air guitar. I sang along in the front seat, sneaking peeks at Ryan in the rearview mirror and grinning from the joy of the moment. When the song was over he said "Mom, when I get big I want to go to a concert with you". Apparently that Wiggles "concert" he went to a couple years ago was quite the experience because he can't wait to go again. I said "You bet. I'm going to hold you to that." So here it is...in writing...when Ryan is big, we're going to a concert together. I can't wait!
We played the song again and at the end of it Ryan said "When I grow up I want to be a Rock Star. A Rock Star or an Action Figure." I wanted to say "You're my Rock Star little man. You put on awesome concerts in the back seat and make my heart swell with adoration." Instead I said "Rock on with your bad self." At six, that's quite a compliment. For the record, I managed to hold the laughter in, about him wanting to be an action figure, until he got out of the car.
Ryan then went on to say that his daddy was a Rock Star before he played in the music band* and he wants to be just like his daddy. The Daddy Man didn't get invited to the concert**, but his son wants to be just like him. In my opinion, Ryan couldn't have picked a better person to be like. Again with the swelling heart.
Life is good.
*The Daddy Man played the trumpet growing up and recently got some videos and tapes of his high school band performing. Ryan has watched them and thinks they rock.
**DM didn't get invited because he likes hair bands, while Ryan and I have a much more distinguished taste in music.
This mornings song was "I Like the Way You Move" by the Bodyrockers. Ryan pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, threw on some shades and rocked his air guitar. I sang along in the front seat, sneaking peeks at Ryan in the rearview mirror and grinning from the joy of the moment. When the song was over he said "Mom, when I get big I want to go to a concert with you". Apparently that Wiggles "concert" he went to a couple years ago was quite the experience because he can't wait to go again. I said "You bet. I'm going to hold you to that." So here it is...in writing...when Ryan is big, we're going to a concert together. I can't wait!
We played the song again and at the end of it Ryan said "When I grow up I want to be a Rock Star. A Rock Star or an Action Figure." I wanted to say "You're my Rock Star little man. You put on awesome concerts in the back seat and make my heart swell with adoration." Instead I said "Rock on with your bad self." At six, that's quite a compliment. For the record, I managed to hold the laughter in, about him wanting to be an action figure, until he got out of the car.
Ryan then went on to say that his daddy was a Rock Star before he played in the music band* and he wants to be just like his daddy. The Daddy Man didn't get invited to the concert**, but his son wants to be just like him. In my opinion, Ryan couldn't have picked a better person to be like. Again with the swelling heart.
Life is good.
*The Daddy Man played the trumpet growing up and recently got some videos and tapes of his high school band performing. Ryan has watched them and thinks they rock.
**DM didn't get invited because he likes hair bands, while Ryan and I have a much more distinguished taste in music.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Letters to Baby - 10 Months!
Dear Makenna,
Another month has already passed. As usual, I can't believe how quickly you're growing and changing. I love watching you grow, but it's a little bittersweet watching you go from tiny baby to a 10 month old in what seems like the blink of an eye.
Your favorite pastimes are playing with paper or magazines and tearing them into tiny pieces, which you then try to put in your mouth and chew up. (Have I mentioned that EVERYTHING goes into your mouth?) You also love to blow spit bubbles. It’s so funny to watch you as you open and close your mouth and make bubbles between your lips. Dancing has come naturally to you. We’ve spent numerous evenings dancing in the kitchen as a family. It’s so fun to watch you bounce to the beat while Ryan is next to you trying to breakdance or working on his “moves”.
Your temper is a bit more obvious when you’re upset with your daddy and I. Your cry is louder now and much more demanding and you make a squeaking noise when you disapprove of something that’s occurring. It’s pretty easy to pull you out of that though. You love cuddles and kisses, tickles and laughter and you love interaction with Ryan, your daddy and I.
You got your 8th tooth at the end of this month. I thought it would never pop through your gums and it took over a month to finally make its appearance. Along with that tooth, came a fever of 104 degrees. You felt terrible for a couple days, we were so glad when you started feeling better.
You are very proud of your ability to say mamama and dadadadada. You usually say those words over and over in the morning as your waking up. The time change has not been kind to me, as you now wake up around 5:45 am. Since we leave the house at 7 to take Ryan to school, this isn’t horrible, but it’s not ideal on the weekends. You also began using a little of the sign language I’ve been teaching you. We’re still working on eat, drink and bottle, but more seems to have taken hold. It almost looked like hand flapping so at first I wasn’t sure what you were doing, but you use it at the right times so we figured that’s your interpretation of the sign.
You are happiest when you are outside. You love people watching and seem to really enjoy the fresh air, the feel of the breeze on your face, a butterfly as it floats by, etc. You don’t, however, appreciate grass. Ryan was the same way. It took him awhile before he didn’t mind that grass can sometimes be a little prickly. You had your first ride in a swing this month. You giggled and grinned your way through it and didn’t want to get out when it was time to leave the park. We now have a baby swing in the backyard on the swingset, so you get to swing quite often.
I think it’s possible that your separation anxiety is starting to fade! You’ve spent time with both Barbara and Jacy (friends of mine) and you didn’t cry! The other day at the grocery store you didn’t cry when the bagger wheeled the cart out. I normally pick you up because you instantly start to fuss, but that day you enjoyed the woman who was talking to you and you just sat and smiled at her. I’ve probably jinxed it all now by talking about it, but I’m thrilled to see you smiling at people and not crying the minute someone besides me holds you.
I'm so thankful that your daddy works hard so that I can stay home with you and Ryan. I never thought being a stay at home mom would be my choice, but it has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. As the saying goes, there are but two things you can give a child, one is roots and the other is wings. We're working on your roots right now little one so that your wings will always bring you home.
I love you always Makenna.
Mom
Another month has already passed. As usual, I can't believe how quickly you're growing and changing. I love watching you grow, but it's a little bittersweet watching you go from tiny baby to a 10 month old in what seems like the blink of an eye.
Your favorite pastimes are playing with paper or magazines and tearing them into tiny pieces, which you then try to put in your mouth and chew up. (Have I mentioned that EVERYTHING goes into your mouth?) You also love to blow spit bubbles. It’s so funny to watch you as you open and close your mouth and make bubbles between your lips. Dancing has come naturally to you. We’ve spent numerous evenings dancing in the kitchen as a family. It’s so fun to watch you bounce to the beat while Ryan is next to you trying to breakdance or working on his “moves”.
Your temper is a bit more obvious when you’re upset with your daddy and I. Your cry is louder now and much more demanding and you make a squeaking noise when you disapprove of something that’s occurring. It’s pretty easy to pull you out of that though. You love cuddles and kisses, tickles and laughter and you love interaction with Ryan, your daddy and I.
You got your 8th tooth at the end of this month. I thought it would never pop through your gums and it took over a month to finally make its appearance. Along with that tooth, came a fever of 104 degrees. You felt terrible for a couple days, we were so glad when you started feeling better.
You are very proud of your ability to say mamama and dadadadada. You usually say those words over and over in the morning as your waking up. The time change has not been kind to me, as you now wake up around 5:45 am. Since we leave the house at 7 to take Ryan to school, this isn’t horrible, but it’s not ideal on the weekends. You also began using a little of the sign language I’ve been teaching you. We’re still working on eat, drink and bottle, but more seems to have taken hold. It almost looked like hand flapping so at first I wasn’t sure what you were doing, but you use it at the right times so we figured that’s your interpretation of the sign.
You are happiest when you are outside. You love people watching and seem to really enjoy the fresh air, the feel of the breeze on your face, a butterfly as it floats by, etc. You don’t, however, appreciate grass. Ryan was the same way. It took him awhile before he didn’t mind that grass can sometimes be a little prickly. You had your first ride in a swing this month. You giggled and grinned your way through it and didn’t want to get out when it was time to leave the park. We now have a baby swing in the backyard on the swingset, so you get to swing quite often.
I think it’s possible that your separation anxiety is starting to fade! You’ve spent time with both Barbara and Jacy (friends of mine) and you didn’t cry! The other day at the grocery store you didn’t cry when the bagger wheeled the cart out. I normally pick you up because you instantly start to fuss, but that day you enjoyed the woman who was talking to you and you just sat and smiled at her. I’ve probably jinxed it all now by talking about it, but I’m thrilled to see you smiling at people and not crying the minute someone besides me holds you.
I'm so thankful that your daddy works hard so that I can stay home with you and Ryan. I never thought being a stay at home mom would be my choice, but it has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. As the saying goes, there are but two things you can give a child, one is roots and the other is wings. We're working on your roots right now little one so that your wings will always bring you home.
I love you always Makenna.
Mom
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
9 Months! (posted a week late)
Dear Makenna,
You're 9 months old! It's hard to believe you've been out of my tummy as long as you were in it. Even harder to remember what life was like 18 months ago before the promise of you and all that you would bring to our family.
The last month has been a big one for you developmentally. The highlights are that you started crawling, pulling up, standing and even standing for a few seconds without holding onto anything. You'll be walking before we know it! I'm not ready for that, you're only 9 months old!
You starting clapping when you're happy or when you see one of us or you see a toy you like...or....the list goes on and on. You love to clap and we love it when you do! You got three more teeth and have been working on a fourth for a couple weeks now. With 7 teeth (almost 8) you're really enjoying chewing new foods. While you like just about anything we put in your mouth, you particularly enjoy it when you get food off our plates. Favorites include real bananas, tiny apple pieces, plain pancakes, brown rice and wheat pasta, and recently avacado and tomato. Your beginning to pinch when you feed yourself, but even minus the raking motion, you still put your whole fist in your mouth when you're trying to eat. You've figured out the sippy cup with a spout and now I'm trying a sippy cup with straw. The straw has been a bit harder to master, but I think you'll get it soon. Apparently straw cups are better for language development so I'd like you to use a staw cup at least some of the time. Speaking of language development, you've yet to use any of the signs I've been teaching you. Ryan still throws one out periodically, I'm hopeful that you'll start using a few of them too.
Early in the month you fussed a lot as you were trying to figure out how to crawl. Now you're a happy baby, constantly on the move and checking out your surroundings. You go from toy to toy, stopping to look at a piece of lint on the floor which means it usually ends up in your mouth. We realized that you were giving kisses at the beginning of the month. I think you'd been doing it for awhile, we just didn't realize that when you lunged at us with an open mouth that you were giving us a kiss and not trying to eat our face. The other day you spent about twenty minutes kissing your reflection in the mirror and "talking" to yourself. So cute. Unfortunately some of your favorite places to play are the fireplace and some of the floor plants. Thankfully the fireplace just holds candles and you mostly play with the wire mesh. The plants are a different story, apparently saliva makes really good mud pies and your clothes are a good canvas for mud painting.
For reasons I can't figure out, you're still getting up a couple of times a week during the night. This wouldn't bother me too much, except that when you wake, you're then up for hours. I'll get you back to sleep with a bottle, rocking or patting your back, but the minute I try to put you back in your crib, or remove my hand from your back you start crying again. It often takes a couple of hours before you're soundly back to sleep. This is rough on Mommy, could you work on that for me?
You started saying Dada (daddy) with intention this month. Apparently it's a universal term for both your Daddy and I and sometimes Ryan. I keep trying to get you to say Mama but everytime I say Mama you say Dada. Sigh. Actually, it's really cute. You get the biggest smile when we play that game and an even bigger smile when your Daddy gets home at the end of each day.
At your 9 month check up you weighed in at 22 lbs 8 oz, 95% for your age and gender, and you were 29.5 inches which is 97%. We can't believe how tall you are and hope you aren't taller than your brother. I'm not sure he'd like that. Your convertable carseat has been ordered because you are close to growing out of your second infant carseat...crazy! Thankfully we were able to borrow the second infant seat from your friend Gracie.
You are at such a fun age right now. Learning lots of new things, exploring, generally happy and content. I'm looking forward to what the month ahead holds.
I love you Makenna benna benna bear. (Not sure how that nickname developed, but it seems to have stuck for now.)
Love,
Mom
You're 9 months old! It's hard to believe you've been out of my tummy as long as you were in it. Even harder to remember what life was like 18 months ago before the promise of you and all that you would bring to our family.
The last month has been a big one for you developmentally. The highlights are that you started crawling, pulling up, standing and even standing for a few seconds without holding onto anything. You'll be walking before we know it! I'm not ready for that, you're only 9 months old!
You starting clapping when you're happy or when you see one of us or you see a toy you like...or....the list goes on and on. You love to clap and we love it when you do! You got three more teeth and have been working on a fourth for a couple weeks now. With 7 teeth (almost 8) you're really enjoying chewing new foods. While you like just about anything we put in your mouth, you particularly enjoy it when you get food off our plates. Favorites include real bananas, tiny apple pieces, plain pancakes, brown rice and wheat pasta, and recently avacado and tomato. Your beginning to pinch when you feed yourself, but even minus the raking motion, you still put your whole fist in your mouth when you're trying to eat. You've figured out the sippy cup with a spout and now I'm trying a sippy cup with straw. The straw has been a bit harder to master, but I think you'll get it soon. Apparently straw cups are better for language development so I'd like you to use a staw cup at least some of the time. Speaking of language development, you've yet to use any of the signs I've been teaching you. Ryan still throws one out periodically, I'm hopeful that you'll start using a few of them too.
Early in the month you fussed a lot as you were trying to figure out how to crawl. Now you're a happy baby, constantly on the move and checking out your surroundings. You go from toy to toy, stopping to look at a piece of lint on the floor which means it usually ends up in your mouth. We realized that you were giving kisses at the beginning of the month. I think you'd been doing it for awhile, we just didn't realize that when you lunged at us with an open mouth that you were giving us a kiss and not trying to eat our face. The other day you spent about twenty minutes kissing your reflection in the mirror and "talking" to yourself. So cute. Unfortunately some of your favorite places to play are the fireplace and some of the floor plants. Thankfully the fireplace just holds candles and you mostly play with the wire mesh. The plants are a different story, apparently saliva makes really good mud pies and your clothes are a good canvas for mud painting.
For reasons I can't figure out, you're still getting up a couple of times a week during the night. This wouldn't bother me too much, except that when you wake, you're then up for hours. I'll get you back to sleep with a bottle, rocking or patting your back, but the minute I try to put you back in your crib, or remove my hand from your back you start crying again. It often takes a couple of hours before you're soundly back to sleep. This is rough on Mommy, could you work on that for me?
You started saying Dada (daddy) with intention this month. Apparently it's a universal term for both your Daddy and I and sometimes Ryan. I keep trying to get you to say Mama but everytime I say Mama you say Dada. Sigh. Actually, it's really cute. You get the biggest smile when we play that game and an even bigger smile when your Daddy gets home at the end of each day.
At your 9 month check up you weighed in at 22 lbs 8 oz, 95% for your age and gender, and you were 29.5 inches which is 97%. We can't believe how tall you are and hope you aren't taller than your brother. I'm not sure he'd like that. Your convertable carseat has been ordered because you are close to growing out of your second infant carseat...crazy! Thankfully we were able to borrow the second infant seat from your friend Gracie.
You are at such a fun age right now. Learning lots of new things, exploring, generally happy and content. I'm looking forward to what the month ahead holds.
I love you Makenna benna benna bear. (Not sure how that nickname developed, but it seems to have stuck for now.)
Love,
Mom
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Light The Night - part two
I surpassed my fundraising goal for Light The Night today! I set a pretty hefty goal because it's a cause so close to my heart and am thrilled my family and friends have been so supportive and donated so generously. That said, I hope a few more donations come in before the walk on the 18th.
I wish this fundraising was "In Honor" of Jenna instead of "In Memory" of her but the reality is that it's my honor to walk in her memory. I try to be thankful that I can do something on her behalf and that money raised will make a difference for others.
I love you Jenna and miss you every day.
I wish this fundraising was "In Honor" of Jenna instead of "In Memory" of her but the reality is that it's my honor to walk in her memory. I try to be thankful that I can do something on her behalf and that money raised will make a difference for others.
I love you Jenna and miss you every day.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Me and My Gang
Ryan really enjoys music. When he hears a new song he almost instantly develops an opinion about it. His current song of choice is "Me and My Gang" by Rascal Flatts. It's a good thing I enjoy this song too because we listen to it numerous times during each car ride. Yesterday we were listening to it, singing along while we drove. I was dancing in my seat, Ryan was playing some sweet air guitar, and then Makenna piped in. She started "singing" too. It was awesome! One of those perfect moments you hope to always remember. Man I love my kids!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Parenthood. The cure for Infertility?
There was a time in my life when I thought “If I can just get pregnant I won’t remember or be effected by the pain of infertility”. That was before I had Ryan. We spent 4.5 years working towards bringing him into this world. It was a difficult time filled with Resolve meetings, doctor’s visits, second opinions, ultrasounds, fertility drugs, and a twelve-week wellness class focused on achieving pregnancy. Finally, we were blessed with a little boy. All was right with the world. He was wonderful, beautiful, enchanting, all consuming.
In fact, he was so wonderful that we wanted more just like him. The black beast of infertility reared its head again. I can’t say which was worse. The despair of thinking we’d never have a child or the knowledge of how great my child was and knowing that we might not be able to have another and provide him with a sibling.
The second time around we had better insurance and less time. We focused and attacked. We went straight to IVF and after three tries we were able to bring home a baby girl. All was right with the world. She was wonderful, beautiful, enchanting, all consuming.
We had two children, both of whom were perfect in our eyes. We weren’t sure if we wanted any more, but we had options. We had a few totsicles in storage.
With all that in mind, I wonder why baby showers are still hard for me. Why I still sometimes look at pregnant women and get teary. Why I'm still bitter when I hear of those who got pregnant their first month trying, or weren’t even trying and yet are pregnant. Why I’m jealous when I hear about people who don’t have a care in the world and announce a pregnancy to everyone they know within minutes of taking a test.
I know these thoughts are my issues and have nothing to do with the people they involve. I try to keep the negative thoughts at bay. I try to revel in the joy that surrounds pregnancy. I try to think about how sweet babies are and how blessed the parents will be. I try to focus on the two children I have and be thankful for them each and every day.
But in case you were wondering…Parenthood is not the cure for Infertility. I’m like an alcoholic, in recovery but definitely not cured.
In fact, he was so wonderful that we wanted more just like him. The black beast of infertility reared its head again. I can’t say which was worse. The despair of thinking we’d never have a child or the knowledge of how great my child was and knowing that we might not be able to have another and provide him with a sibling.
The second time around we had better insurance and less time. We focused and attacked. We went straight to IVF and after three tries we were able to bring home a baby girl. All was right with the world. She was wonderful, beautiful, enchanting, all consuming.
We had two children, both of whom were perfect in our eyes. We weren’t sure if we wanted any more, but we had options. We had a few totsicles in storage.
With all that in mind, I wonder why baby showers are still hard for me. Why I still sometimes look at pregnant women and get teary. Why I'm still bitter when I hear of those who got pregnant their first month trying, or weren’t even trying and yet are pregnant. Why I’m jealous when I hear about people who don’t have a care in the world and announce a pregnancy to everyone they know within minutes of taking a test.
I know these thoughts are my issues and have nothing to do with the people they involve. I try to keep the negative thoughts at bay. I try to revel in the joy that surrounds pregnancy. I try to think about how sweet babies are and how blessed the parents will be. I try to focus on the two children I have and be thankful for them each and every day.
But in case you were wondering…Parenthood is not the cure for Infertility. I’m like an alcoholic, in recovery but definitely not cured.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
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