Honor

I know today is a day of BBQ's and family time. It's also a day to remember and thank those who serve in the military.

Today I honor:

My uncle, Marine CPL Edwin J Falloon, killed in action in Vietnam. He was only 20 and scheduled to return home 10 days after he was killed.
My grandfather, Edward Travis, stationed in North Africa and Italy during WWII. His entire crew was shot down, but as the mechanic for the B-52 Bombers he was on the ground and survived.
Grandfather In Law Chandler Harrison, Aircraft Carrier Pilot during WWII, stationed in the Pacific.

I also thank all those family members that served and are still living:

My dad, Scott Travis, served as a medic in the Army during Vietnam
My father in law, Wayne Harrison Sr., an NCO in the Army/tank division
Brother in Law's Allen Harrison and Jessie Harrison, Infantry in the Army
Brother In Law Gene Harrison, 1st Sergeant in the Army

Sucker Punches

A couple boxes arrived at our door yesterday. They’re for a very small very part time business opportunity I’m considering, but that’s a whole different post. The conversation that followed their arrival went something like this…

Ryan: “Are those for me?” (big saucer eyes and barely hidden excitement)

Mom: “No, they’re for me.” (big saucer eyes and barely hidden excitement)

Ryan in a very matter of fact voice: “Oh, is it your medicine?”

Mom: “Thankfully, no.”

IVF medications aren’t readily available at the local pharmacy, so they must be ordered. They arrive in a huge box, sometimes more than one, and often wrapped in dry ice. I remember exactly how I felt when I got that first box. Anticipation, excitement, wonder and so much dread. Multiple bags filled with different sizes of needles. Needles that I would be using on myself, or worse my husband would be using on me! What the hell? After getting over my initial shock at all the needles, I went on to look at just how many different medications I would be pumping into my body over the next two months and more if a pregnancy was achieved. For that first IVF, I ended up with 4 shots and 11 pills each day. It rocked.



It’s been 14 months since I received one of those boxes and yet my 5 year old remembers them. I wonder if he also remembers what a bad mom I was during those months of Lupron induced bitchiness. Just when I think I’ve moved past infertility it sucker punches me.

Oddly enough, even though it’s painful I don’t mind a sucker punch every now and then. It reminds me to be thankful for my children. It reminds me to be thankful I’m not actively trying for more children currently. It reminds me of a very difficult time in my life and therefore it reminds me that we persevered and came through it stronger than we entered. It reminds me that just because we want something that doesn’t mean we’re going to get it. It reminds me to be mindful of the journey even though the arrival is what I want. It reminds me that I have arrived!

Three

Yep, three. Three periods since I stopped breastfeeding. The first came exactly when I expected, a couple weeks after I stopped breastfeeding. The next came 28 days later. When it began I thought "No freaking way! Twenty Eight days...a normal 28 day cycle??? I am the queen of the messed up menstrals, I NEVER have 28 day cycles. Hmmm, maybe this pregnancy knocked something into place and I'm normal now." Ha ha ha. Are you waiting for the other shoe to drop? You should be, and I should have pushed the thoughts of normalcy out of head. Eleven, that's right 11, days after my second period arrived the third one did. Stellar.

Couch Duty for Ryan

We spent the day at the doctor's office and the hospital today...ugh! Ryan goes from having a minor cold to RAD and Pneumonia overnight. It kills me how quickly it comes on and he's so laid back about it that it's hard to know just how sick he is. After two breathing treatments, multiple does of steroids and a chest x-ray we're home...for now. Poor kid has to miss the last couple days of school, as well as his final soccer game this weekend. I'm hoping that his inhaler keeps him out of the hospital. Last time this happened we both had our first ambulance ride, spent 10 hours in the ER and then enjoyed a pleasant 3 day stay in isolation. Should be fun trying to keep my very active 5 year old on the couch. Poor kid!

Oh, just to make the day perfect, I arrived home to a summons for Jury Duty. While I've always wanted to serve Jury Duty, now isn't the time for numerous reasons. Fabulous.

Who Am I?

Who Am I?
· I am Chandra
· I am a Mother
· I am a Wife
· I am an over achieving perfectionist
· I am infertile
· I am trying to lose weight and be more fit
· I am losing so much hair!
· I am afraid of failure
· I am a mini van driving “soccer mom” (according to my brother)
· I am a huge fan of flip flops
· I am pretty trendy (if I do say so myself)
· I am cute in a girl next door kind of way
· I am an Interior Designer at heart, now if I can just get that degree
· I am a good friend, usually
· I am blind as bat…yes, I’m finally admitting it.
· I am fun to go dancing with
· I am procrastinating going to the doctor for a skin cancer check and getting a couple moles removed.
· I am afraid of what they might tell me.
· I am trying to decide what to with our frozen embryos
· I am sad when I think of them
· I am sad when I think of our babies that didn’t make it
· I am way behind on my housework.
· I am freckled
· I am competitive
· I am sometimes funny
· I am emotional lately
· I am finally happy with my naturally curly hair
· I am happy
· I am an optimist, glass half full kind of girl
· I am late…for a walk around the park with a friend…which means…
· I am done with my list

Who are you?

Traditions...

When I was growing up we went for ice cream after school programs. Often other families were at the local ice cream shop as well and there were lots of smiling faces and laughter. I usually got a chocolate malt, my mom chose a hot fudge sundae, I believe my step dad often went with a chocolate cherry blizzard and, sadly, I don't remember my brother's choice, although I'm sure it had vanilla ice cream because that's his favorite.

Tonight another generation began the ice cream tradition. The kindergarten and K-Readiness classes had a program at school. They showed off some of their "skillz" and then sang a song. After leaving the school, the 4 of us went to a new ice cream shop that opened today. Ryan saw a classmate walking in, as we were pulling up. He was so excited, yelling out to his friend, opening the car door almost before we'd stopped. Once inside the boys monkeyed around, sat next to each other, shared their ice cream and had a grand time. I chatted with a couple of moms, and even saw our neighbors. It was surreal. I don't feel old enough to be the parent...and yet I am. Tradition has come full circle. It's pretty great to recall things I did as a kid, share that memory with my kids, and do them again.

Tradition.

Babies in Hats!

Have I mentioned how much I love babies in hats? I love babies in hats! I love my baby in hats! Isn't she cute?!

School Days

This morning as I dropped Ryan off at school he saw a friend who was arriving at the same time. He hopped out of the car as quickly as possible and yelled "Hi Alli Beth!" She yelled "RYAN!!!" ran over to him and linked arms. Another little boy linked with his other arm and the three of them walked into school. I held up the drop off line because I was watching the scene play out. It was so cute and made me happy to see Ryan enjoying his friends.

He's so excited for summer and lots of "stay home days" but I think he's really going to miss seeing his friends every day.

4 months cont...and IKEA!

Just a quick update. Makenna's 4 month appt went well. She weighed in at 16 lbs 6 oz and 24 1/4 inches long. My girl is huge! The pediatrician guesstimated her to be about 5'8" as an adult if she continues on her current growth curve. It's funny to compare her to Ryan, because at Ryan's 4 month appt he was in the 10th percentile for weight, while Makenna is 97th. She's also at 75th percentile for height and Ryan was about 45th percentile. Shots went well, she didn't seem to have much of a reaction at all other than sleeping a bit more than usual. This was a good thing because my stepdad and I decided to go to Atlanta after her appointment. I had mentioned wanting to go to IKEA and we decided to be spontaneous and go. By the way, it was AWESOME! I love IKEA and can't wait to make another trip down there. Maybe next time we'll see more of Atlanta than IKEA and Whole Foods.

4 months!

Dear Makenna,

Today you are 4 months old! I can hardly believe how quickly your baby months are flying by.

What's new in your world? Let's see, you've begun sleeping through the night! You started just over a week ago and have only had one night since then where you got up. I really like my sleep so I've been pretty excited about this recent development. About that same time you started batting at toys. You mostly use your hands for this task, but I've seen you use your feet when on your playmat. You show no indication of rolling over, probably because you hate tummy time and love to be held or sitting up in your bouncy chair or bumbo. Wait!!! You just rolled onto your side! I'm sitting next to you, while you lay on your playmat, typing this. I guess you wanted to prove me wrong and show that you'd be rolling before we know it.

You go to bed so easily now! I can tell when you're getting tired at night because you rub your eyes, move a lot, get fussy, and suck on your finger/knuckles. Provided you've had enough to eat, when this occurs I can lay you down in your crib without a peep. You then proceed to rub your head back and forth or if I stand there for a minute you'll rub your nose across my hand and try to suck on my palm. When you're in your swing, bouncy chair or car seat you rub the side of your face up and down on the fabric when you want to go to sleep. I'm not sure why this is your chosen method of soothing yourself, but it's cute.

Now comes a big topic....hair! We're both losing it. You've lost all the curls on top of your head, and you've rubbed a big bald spot on the back of your head. What's left is pretty wispy and kind of looks like old man hair. I still can't tell what color it's going to be, but I think the red may be gone. When you had it as a tiny baby, I was hopeful that you'd keep it. As I said before, you aren't alone in the hair loss department. I've developed a nice receeding hairline and my normally very thick head of hair has thinned out a ton. I'm contemplating cutting it all off, but not sure that's the best idea as we head into the humid summer months.

Your eyes are lightening up. Ryan and I both have eyes that change based on what we're wearing. Sometimes they look blue, other times green or gray, I think yours may be the same. So far they seem to fall in the grayish blue range, but there's still time for them to change. You also seem to be blessed with the same long eyelashes your brother has. Lucky girl that you are, they curl up almost to your eyebrows right now.

You have a temper little missy! You want what you want when you want it and if I can't provide it right then, you let me know how frustrated you are with me. The car is the worst for this. Because I can't get to you, you'll scream so long and hard that you turn red and choke, and often you end up with little red spots all over your face. We're often out and about, but you're much happier when we stay home all day. You get really irritated with me if you spend too much time in your car seat.

During this past month you got to meet your Grandma and Grandpa Harrison. You were all so infatuated with each other. I was sick for most of the week they were here, so you spent A LOT of time with your Grandma. They were both so sad when it was time to go home, since I'm not sure when we'll see them again.

You LOVE Ryan, and he LOVES you. One of the reasons it was so important for your Dad and I to add to our family is that we wanted Ryan to have a sibling. We knew he would love having a sister or brother and we wanted him to have someone to grow up with and share his life with. Your dad and I don't live by our siblings, but I think about at least one of them almost every day. I wish we lived closer and know that if I ever needed anything I could call on any of them. We wanted Ryan to have a person like that too. It's so sweet to watch the two of you grow into your relationship and I hope you'll always love each other as much as you do right now. Don't get me wrong, I know you'll fight as you grow up, but I hope those fights are long gone when you reach adulthood and I hope you'll always be there for each other.

I put you down for a nap awhile ago and now you're waking up. I'm off to feed you and play some patty cake. We rock the patty cake game! Oh, one more thing, you belly laugh now! Time can get away from me as I sit and play with you trying to get one of those belly laughs out of you.

I love you baby girl!
Mom

P.S. - Your 4 month checkup is next week, I can't wait to find out how much you've grown

P.P.S.S. - Your Nana and Papa arrive today. Papa hasn't seen you since you were a week old, and Nana hasn't seen you since you were two weeks old. They are gonna love playing with you and watching your eyes twinkle and your dimples pop out when you smile.