Friday, January 04, 2008

They Say It's Your Birthday!!!

Dear Makenna,

Happy Birthday, you’re a year old now!!! Your birthday was spent like most of our days. Ry-guy was back at school, DM was back at work and you and I spent the day playing, grocery shopping and making a cake. We’ve been gone for the majority of the last couple weeks, so it was nice to be home and just hang out. When the boys got home from school and work we had dinner and watched you devour your cake. I can’t even guess at how many times you were sang to during the course of the day and each rendition of “Happy Birthday to You” made you smile and clap. You had a birthday party in Colorado with a number of family members in attendance; you picked at your store bought cake and enjoyed the attention. Ryan was right there when it was time to open your gifts. It’s a good thing he was willing to help, since you were enthralled by a piece of tissue paper. Now that we’re home, we’ll probably have a little gathering with a couple close friends. It’s been an exciting couple of weeks for you!

As for the final month of your first year, we spent much of it traveling. We drove, approximately 27 hours across the country so that we could spend time with lots of our family. The trip included time in Flagstaff, AZ where you met your Gramps and Grammy for the first time, as well as your Great Grandpa Craig and Great Grandma Mimi. You loved the dogs at Gramps and Grammy’s house and felt comfortable enough that G&G were even able to hold you. You also got to see and touch snow for the first time! Ryan was quite proud of this due to his serious fascination with snow. After a couple days in AZ we traveled to CO for the rest of our visit. The first couple days were spent with your Daddy’s family, all of your uncles, aunts and most of your cousins were there, along with Grandma and Grandpa. We counted 31 people! You met most of them for the first time and they all loved you. Separation anxiety still made an appearance but you let your cousin Britnay hold you and had fun playing with her daughter Ivy. Your uncles Gene and Allen tried and tried to pick you up but you stuck close to Mom and Dad the rest of the time. Then on to visit with Nana and Papa, uncle Colin, Andrea and Kenya Dog joining us again. (They were in Flagstaff too) You were a little overwhelmed by the whole present thing, but by the third go round you’d started to figure it out. Which was good because you got A LOT of presents this year. I was concerned you might be attracted to the wood burning stove at their house, but you barely looked its way. Instead you enjoyed lots of attention, plenty of toys and barely had time to find any mischief. The trip home was uneventful and loooooong. We were all so ready to be home that we barely stopped and made it home in 24 hours. I suppose I should mention that your dad and I both like to speed. I’ll deny that fact when you’re learning to drive.

We were home for a day and then packed up again so that we could spend New Year’s Eve with our closest friends. We all enjoyed ringing in the New Year together, you and Gracie enjoyed playing, and she was nice enough to let you sleep in her crib, allowing you to actually sleep while the ball dropped and the fireworks began. You woke up later, but we didn’t mind as we cuddled with you and welcomed another year.

It’s been an incredible month and year baby girl. I’m looking forward to all the things the year ahead will bring, walking, talking, sleeping through the night, maybe, playing, dancing, singing, fighting with your brother. Well, maybe not the fighting with your brother. I feel like I’ll never forget these days but just today I remembered something about your early months I’d already forgotten. When you were tiny, I’d hold you in my arms at night and you’d suck on my arm to fall asleep. I don’t think I’ve ever written that down. At the time it didn’t seem noteworthy, but now it’s a sweet memory. A couple more things, you were an amazing traveler during our cross-country trek, so much better than when we returned from Florida! You slept and played and didn’t fuss very much. You and Ryan made our trip so much better than I’d anticipated. Also, you haven’t started walking yet, but you “walk” on your knees and bounce up and down. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another baby do this. Your hair is coming in quickly now and it’s curly! Much to my delight! I hope I can teach you how to work with it so you don’t hate it as much as I hated mine. As an adult I love my curly hair, I hope you’ll appreciate yours much sooner.

Your one-year appt is Monday; I look forward to finding out how tall you are and how much you weigh. You’re firmly in 18-24 month clothes so I’d guess that you remain at the top of the charts.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl! I love you always!
Mommy

*Picture and measurements to follow after doctor's appt.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

11 Months - Only two weeks late...

Dear Makenna,

Month 11 has come and gone and with holiday travel and festivities I’m just now getting to your 11 month post. A small case of mommy guilt comes with my procrastination.

This month had just a couple firsts worth mentioning. In no particular order, you started waving, you had your first near death experience and you met your Great Grandma.

The waving started one day and has yet to stop. You’re so proud of your new skill you wave to everything, whether it waves back or not. We all love it and encourage you to practice, practice, practice.

You met your Great Grandma during the Thanksgiving holiday. We converged upon her house in IL, along with all three of your uncles and their spouses/significant others, your Nana & Papa, and Papa’s sister’s family. GiGi (Great Grandma) was so busy with all the entertaining, cooking, cleaning etc, that you weren’t able to spend much time with each other, but she loved every minute of your time together. You, on the other hand, did well the first day but by the second you were a bit clingy with your daddy and I. While your separation anxiety can sometimes be difficult to deal with, there’s a part of me that cherishes this time because I know the day will come when you won’t want to be with us.

The rest of the month was fairly uneventful, other than the daily cuddles and kisses that always make my heart soar. You are such a cuddle bug and love to be held. You continue to initiate bunny kisses and now we even get the open mouthed kiss on a regular basis. You’re still crawling, however we can see you developing your sense of balance and you’re getting more daring. Amazingly enough, I think you made it through the entire month without teething! You’re at 8 teeth…and holding…however I think your eyeteeth will start causing some issues soon. I can feel your gums starting to swell.

As for your near death experience, well, I can be a little dramatic. You did have a pretty close call though. We’d been at a friend’s house and you managed to get hold of a little star sticker and put it in your mouth without me realizing. As we walked to the car, to pick Ryan up from school, I realized you were gasping and not getting any air. I swept your mouth, did the Heimlich maneuver and then you started throwing up. You probably threw up 20 or 30 times and finally the star came out. By the time it was over, we were both covered in puke and tears. I’m not sure if the tears on me were yours or mine. Either way, I know I hugged you extra tight for quite awhile after it was over.

You have been such a joy over the last month. I love watching you grow and change but I’m enjoying this stage so much that I hate that it’s passing so quickly. It’s hard to believe you’ll be turning ONE in just a few short weeks.

I love you Makenna,
Mama

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thankful

*I'm thankful for my husband. He's such a loving, caring, committed partner and an incredible dad. There are times that he can get through to Ryan after I've thrown up my hands in frustration. Not once has he made me feel unattractive or like I'm not good enough. He makes me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind too, and fully supports my career decisions. We kind of grew up together and I am so impressed by the man he's become.
*I'm thankful for my children. I can't imagine life without them and am so glad we had the strength emotionally, physically and financially to work so hard for them.
*I’m thankful for our family and their never ending support, listening ears, and shoulders to cry on during the “Year of the IVF”.
*I’m thankful for the infertility insurance package that my hubby’s employer provided that meant we were able to do 3 IVF’s in a year.
*I'm thankful for my family. Some of my best friends are family members.
*I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.
*I'm thankful for my friends. I have a lot of really great friends, some I’ve known for 25 years, others for just a couple, but all of them are awesome.
*I'm thankful for my lifestyle and that my hubby works so hard so that I can stay home with our kids right now.
*I'm thankful for my IPOD. Music speaks to me and gets me through tough times, I love that I have so much music on such a little gadget.
*I'm thankful for my mom’s group. It's introduced me to people and things I might not have been exposed to. It encourages me to use my brain occasionally. I enjoy the humor and tears we share and I always appreciate the community for myself and my kids.
*I’m thankful that after literally years of searching, I’ve finally found a church I love. It’s awesome to spend a couple hours Sunday morning thinking of the big picture in a new way.
*I’m thankful to be alive and healthy and able to enjoy this day with my family
*I'm THANKFUL!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

NaBloPoMo

What’s that you’re wondering? It’s a promise, of sorts, in the Land ‘O Blog, a promise to write a post each day during the month of November for National Blog Posting Month. I briefly considered it. I’ve been a bad bad blogger lately. I thought signing up for NaBloPoMo might kick start my blogging juices and remind me that memories are good, no matter how big or small. I’ve had things on my mind that I wanted to write about and haven’t made the time. The thing is, writing is cathartic. It helps me remember things I don’t want to forget. It helps me feel closer to my family. It helps me think about things objectively. It helps me appreciate the joy in a moment a second time as I write about it. Besides, I enjoy it. So, bear with me as I try to get back into this blogging thing.

http://nablopomo.ning.com/ didn’t get my promise this year…maybe next year.

Friday, November 09, 2007

An Action Figure or a Rock Star

Often during our morning drive to school, Ryan picks a song that we listen to over and over. But we don't just listen, we seat dance, we sing along, we play "air instruments", we jam.

This mornings song was "I Like the Way You Move" by the Bodyrockers. Ryan pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, threw on some shades and rocked his air guitar. I sang along in the front seat, sneaking peeks at Ryan in the rearview mirror and grinning from the joy of the moment. When the song was over he said "Mom, when I get big I want to go to a concert with you". Apparently that Wiggles "concert" he went to a couple years ago was quite the experience because he can't wait to go again. I said "You bet. I'm going to hold you to that." So here it is...in writing...when Ryan is big, we're going to a concert together. I can't wait!

We played the song again and at the end of it Ryan said "When I grow up I want to be a Rock Star. A Rock Star or an Action Figure." I wanted to say "You're my Rock Star little man. You put on awesome concerts in the back seat and make my heart swell with adoration." Instead I said "Rock on with your bad self." At six, that's quite a compliment. For the record, I managed to hold the laughter in, about him wanting to be an action figure, until he got out of the car.

Ryan then went on to say that his daddy was a Rock Star before he played in the music band* and he wants to be just like his daddy. The Daddy Man didn't get invited to the concert**, but his son wants to be just like him. In my opinion, Ryan couldn't have picked a better person to be like. Again with the swelling heart.

Life is good.



*The Daddy Man played the trumpet growing up and recently got some videos and tapes of his high school band performing. Ryan has watched them and thinks they rock.

**DM didn't get invited because he likes hair bands, while Ryan and I have a much more distinguished taste in music.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Letters to Baby - 10 Months!

Dear Makenna,

Another month has already passed. As usual, I can't believe how quickly you're growing and changing. I love watching you grow, but it's a little bittersweet watching you go from tiny baby to a 10 month old in what seems like the blink of an eye.

Your favorite pastimes are playing with paper or magazines and tearing them into tiny pieces, which you then try to put in your mouth and chew up. (Have I mentioned that EVERYTHING goes into your mouth?) You also love to blow spit bubbles. It’s so funny to watch you as you open and close your mouth and make bubbles between your lips. Dancing has come naturally to you. We’ve spent numerous evenings dancing in the kitchen as a family. It’s so fun to watch you bounce to the beat while Ryan is next to you trying to breakdance or working on his “moves”.

Your temper is a bit more obvious when you’re upset with your daddy and I. Your cry is louder now and much more demanding and you make a squeaking noise when you disapprove of something that’s occurring. It’s pretty easy to pull you out of that though. You love cuddles and kisses, tickles and laughter and you love interaction with Ryan, your daddy and I.

You got your 8th tooth at the end of this month. I thought it would never pop through your gums and it took over a month to finally make its appearance. Along with that tooth, came a fever of 104 degrees. You felt terrible for a couple days, we were so glad when you started feeling better.

You are very proud of your ability to say mamama and dadadadada. You usually say those words over and over in the morning as your waking up. The time change has not been kind to me, as you now wake up around 5:45 am. Since we leave the house at 7 to take Ryan to school, this isn’t horrible, but it’s not ideal on the weekends. You also began using a little of the sign language I’ve been teaching you. We’re still working on eat, drink and bottle, but more seems to have taken hold. It almost looked like hand flapping so at first I wasn’t sure what you were doing, but you use it at the right times so we figured that’s your interpretation of the sign.

You are happiest when you are outside. You love people watching and seem to really enjoy the fresh air, the feel of the breeze on your face, a butterfly as it floats by, etc. You don’t, however, appreciate grass. Ryan was the same way. It took him awhile before he didn’t mind that grass can sometimes be a little prickly. You had your first ride in a swing this month. You giggled and grinned your way through it and didn’t want to get out when it was time to leave the park. We now have a baby swing in the backyard on the swingset, so you get to swing quite often.

I think it’s possible that your separation anxiety is starting to fade! You’ve spent time with both Barbara and Jacy (friends of mine) and you didn’t cry! The other day at the grocery store you didn’t cry when the bagger wheeled the cart out. I normally pick you up because you instantly start to fuss, but that day you enjoyed the woman who was talking to you and you just sat and smiled at her. I’ve probably jinxed it all now by talking about it, but I’m thrilled to see you smiling at people and not crying the minute someone besides me holds you.

I'm so thankful that your daddy works hard so that I can stay home with you and Ryan. I never thought being a stay at home mom would be my choice, but it has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. As the saying goes, there are but two things you can give a child, one is roots and the other is wings. We're working on your roots right now little one so that your wings will always bring you home.

I love you always Makenna.

Mom

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

9 Months! (posted a week late)

Dear Makenna,

You're 9 months old! It's hard to believe you've been out of my tummy as long as you were in it. Even harder to remember what life was like 18 months ago before the promise of you and all that you would bring to our family.

The last month has been a big one for you developmentally. The highlights are that you started crawling, pulling up, standing and even standing for a few seconds without holding onto anything. You'll be walking before we know it! I'm not ready for that, you're only 9 months old!

You starting clapping when you're happy or when you see one of us or you see a toy you like...or....the list goes on and on. You love to clap and we love it when you do! You got three more teeth and have been working on a fourth for a couple weeks now. With 7 teeth (almost 8) you're really enjoying chewing new foods. While you like just about anything we put in your mouth, you particularly enjoy it when you get food off our plates. Favorites include real bananas, tiny apple pieces, plain pancakes, brown rice and wheat pasta, and recently avacado and tomato. Your beginning to pinch when you feed yourself, but even minus the raking motion, you still put your whole fist in your mouth when you're trying to eat. You've figured out the sippy cup with a spout and now I'm trying a sippy cup with straw. The straw has been a bit harder to master, but I think you'll get it soon. Apparently straw cups are better for language development so I'd like you to use a staw cup at least some of the time. Speaking of language development, you've yet to use any of the signs I've been teaching you. Ryan still throws one out periodically, I'm hopeful that you'll start using a few of them too.

Early in the month you fussed a lot as you were trying to figure out how to crawl. Now you're a happy baby, constantly on the move and checking out your surroundings. You go from toy to toy, stopping to look at a piece of lint on the floor which means it usually ends up in your mouth. We realized that you were giving kisses at the beginning of the month. I think you'd been doing it for awhile, we just didn't realize that when you lunged at us with an open mouth that you were giving us a kiss and not trying to eat our face. The other day you spent about twenty minutes kissing your reflection in the mirror and "talking" to yourself. So cute. Unfortunately some of your favorite places to play are the fireplace and some of the floor plants. Thankfully the fireplace just holds candles and you mostly play with the wire mesh. The plants are a different story, apparently saliva makes really good mud pies and your clothes are a good canvas for mud painting.

For reasons I can't figure out, you're still getting up a couple of times a week during the night. This wouldn't bother me too much, except that when you wake, you're then up for hours. I'll get you back to sleep with a bottle, rocking or patting your back, but the minute I try to put you back in your crib, or remove my hand from your back you start crying again. It often takes a couple of hours before you're soundly back to sleep. This is rough on Mommy, could you work on that for me?

You started saying Dada (daddy) with intention this month. Apparently it's a universal term for both your Daddy and I and sometimes Ryan. I keep trying to get you to say Mama but everytime I say Mama you say Dada. Sigh. Actually, it's really cute. You get the biggest smile when we play that game and an even bigger smile when your Daddy gets home at the end of each day.

At your 9 month check up you weighed in at 22 lbs 8 oz, 95% for your age and gender, and you were 29.5 inches which is 97%. We can't believe how tall you are and hope you aren't taller than your brother. I'm not sure he'd like that. Your convertable carseat has been ordered because you are close to growing out of your second infant carseat...crazy! Thankfully we were able to borrow the second infant seat from your friend Gracie.

You are at such a fun age right now. Learning lots of new things, exploring, generally happy and content. I'm looking forward to what the month ahead holds.

I love you Makenna benna benna bear. (Not sure how that nickname developed, but it seems to have stuck for now.)

Love,
Mom

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Light The Night - part two

I surpassed my fundraising goal for Light The Night today! I set a pretty hefty goal because it's a cause so close to my heart and am thrilled my family and friends have been so supportive and donated so generously. That said, I hope a few more donations come in before the walk on the 18th.

I wish this fundraising was "In Honor" of Jenna instead of "In Memory" of her but the reality is that it's my honor to walk in her memory. I try to be thankful that I can do something on her behalf and that money raised will make a difference for others.

I love you Jenna and miss you every day.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Me and My Gang

Ryan really enjoys music. When he hears a new song he almost instantly develops an opinion about it. His current song of choice is "Me and My Gang" by Rascal Flatts. It's a good thing I enjoy this song too because we listen to it numerous times during each car ride. Yesterday we were listening to it, singing along while we drove. I was dancing in my seat, Ryan was playing some sweet air guitar, and then Makenna piped in. She started "singing" too. It was awesome! One of those perfect moments you hope to always remember. Man I love my kids!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Parenthood. The cure for Infertility?

There was a time in my life when I thought “If I can just get pregnant I won’t remember or be effected by the pain of infertility”. That was before I had Ryan. We spent 4.5 years working towards bringing him into this world. It was a difficult time filled with Resolve meetings, doctor’s visits, second opinions, ultrasounds, fertility drugs, and a twelve-week wellness class focused on achieving pregnancy. Finally, we were blessed with a little boy. All was right with the world. He was wonderful, beautiful, enchanting, all consuming.

In fact, he was so wonderful that we wanted more just like him. The black beast of infertility reared its head again. I can’t say which was worse. The despair of thinking we’d never have a child or the knowledge of how great my child was and knowing that we might not be able to have another and provide him with a sibling.

The second time around we had better insurance and less time. We focused and attacked. We went straight to IVF and after three tries we were able to bring home a baby girl. All was right with the world. She was wonderful, beautiful, enchanting, all consuming.

We had two children, both of whom were perfect in our eyes. We weren’t sure if we wanted any more, but we had options. We had a few totsicles in storage.

With all that in mind, I wonder why baby showers are still hard for me. Why I still sometimes look at pregnant women and get teary. Why I'm still bitter when I hear of those who got pregnant their first month trying, or weren’t even trying and yet are pregnant. Why I’m jealous when I hear about people who don’t have a care in the world and announce a pregnancy to everyone they know within minutes of taking a test.

I know these thoughts are my issues and have nothing to do with the people they involve. I try to keep the negative thoughts at bay. I try to revel in the joy that surrounds pregnancy. I try to think about how sweet babies are and how blessed the parents will be. I try to focus on the two children I have and be thankful for them each and every day.

But in case you were wondering…Parenthood is not the cure for Infertility. I’m like an alcoholic, in recovery but definitely not cured.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Two for Tuesday!

Borrowed from Tara...

Two names you go by
1. Momma
2. Raye

Two things you are wearing right now
1. comfy pants
2. March of Dimes T-Shirt

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship
1. Effective Communication
2. Humor

Two things you like to do
1. Spend time with family and friends
2. Read

Two things you want very badly at the moment
1. A degree in Interior Design
2. Two healthy kids

Two things you did last night
1. Made dinner
2. Gave the kids a bath

Two things you ate today
1. Salad
2. Oatmeal

Two people you last talked to
1. Ryan, while he said good night and told me I was his favorite mom :)
2. Hubby

Two things you're doing tomorrow
1. Taking Ryan to the pediatrician for a follow up appt.
2. Running on my treadmill

Two favorite holidays
1. Christmas Eve...Good memories, Midnight Candlelight Service, Opening one gift, The anticipation, Family.
2. St. Patty's Day, I'm a good Irish girl

Two favorite beverages
1. Diet Coke
2. Wine

Two jobs I have had in my life
1. Resident Assistant in College
2. Teen & Family Program Director at the Y

Two movies I would watch over and over
1. Under the Tuscan Sun
2. Hunt for Red October

Two places I have lived
1. Colorado
2. Germany

Two of my favorite foods
1. Pizza
2. Mexican

Two places I'd rather be right now
1. The Beach
2. Rico, Colorado...hanging out with my Mom and Stepdad

Monday, September 17, 2007

Deja Vu

Friday morning we headed to the pediatrician since Ryan was having some trouble breathing. Three breathing treatments and a dose of steriods later, Ryan was on his way to the local Children's Hospital ER via ambulance. He wasn't really wheezing but his chest was very tight. His pediatrician expected he'd be diagnosed with Pneumonia after a chest xray was completed.

Once we arrived, Ryan was placed on a continuous breathing treatment for two hours, had a chest xray, an IV and another dose of steriods. Thankfully the chest xray came back negative for Pnuemonia, the throat swab was negative for Strep and the IV was nothing compared to last year. He even said after it was done "Wow, that's it? It didn't even hurt." A few more breathing treatments and 9 hours after our arrival, Ryan was admitted to the hospital. Ryan and I spent the night, which he was thrilled about. He remembered the pancakes and bacon he had during his last stay and wanted them again. What?? It's odd the things that kids focus on.

Ryan responded really well to the meds and we were sent home the following afternoon... with an entire pharmacy. Now we'll spend the next couple days trying to lay low and encourage a kid who's bored and wound up from the meds to be mellow and not eat everything in sight. Didn't we just do this a year ago? Seasonal allergies and Reactive Airway Disease can bite me.

Friday, September 14, 2007

He Takes After Me

You know how, when you're having a child, you think about all the traits you wish they'd get, and those you hope they don't.

"I hope she has my hair."

"I hope he gets my musical ear."

"Fingers crossed that he doesn't get my teeth."

You get the point.

Well, I've discovered a new trait that Ryan seems to have gotten from me. As a child, I was often sick for holidays, special events, vacations, etc. It appears that my boy is following in his mother's footsteps. He's already missed numerous fun events and parties at school and he's been sick during a couple vacations. Today is the Eagle Stomp at his school. It's a Fun Run and a big carnival. Inflatable Obstacle Courses, face painting, dunking booths, temporary tattoos, snow cones, serious fun for kids, Ryan has been so excited. He got his pledges, turned in his sheet and was ready to run laps for money for the school. Unfortunately, he's home sick. Yet again, a cold has turned into something more overnight. We're headed to the doctor in a couple minutes. I'm hoping he'll just get a breathing treatment or two and won't have to go to the hospital again. The poor kid feels horrible, but you want to know what he's sad about? You guessed it, not being able to go to school today.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Nuggets of Grace, Part Two

My Nuggets of Grace post stirred up a bit of controversy and brought a few lurkers out of the woodwork...Yay! I love comments.

I replied to the comments in the comment section of that post, but wanted to do so here as well, in case people didn't check the comments section again. Clear as mud?

Anyhow, I wasn't sure if I should leave the post up because I didn't know if people would be offended.

That said, I wanted the post to focus on Grace and instead it seemed to focus on hypocrisy, or at least that's what many of you got from it. In regards to that, many of the people that I know that are very religious, very involved in their churches, etc. are wonderful. They unabashedly stand behind what they believe in through word and action. I guess the hypocrisy statement was meant to be more of a general thought about "organized" religions. Not so much about the Christians that are in my life currently.

Infertility caused me to question God and myself and caused me to feel unworthy. The sermon about Grace helped me to feel a little better about my religious walk as of late. That is what I meant for the post to be about, I guess I didn't quite hit the mark.

Thanks again for the comments. Have I mentioned that I love comments?!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

First Day of Kindergarten

I know Ryan's first day of Kindergarten was weeks ago. I'm Lame!

Ryan was thrilled to start school this year, especially when he found out he'd be in the same class as his best friend, Connor, and would have the teacher's we'd hoped for. His teachers job share, meaning that they work two days a week and then alternate fridays. They are both awesome and really have a love of teaching. I'm so happy he got into this class and I think it's going to be a great year!

Here are a few pictures from his first day. Ryan was very proud of his rolling spiderman backpack and was wearing a heart sticker as a reminder of "The Kissing Hand". His teachers read us that book at parent's night and then gave us stickers for the kids so that when they read the book to the kids on the first day they'd have their heart stickers. It was so sweet and the kids appreciated it as much as the parents. Notice Ryan's huge smiles! He's such a great kid!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Nuggets of Grace

"People shouldn't be good because they want God to grant them Grace. They should be Godly in their actions because they've already received Grace."

Those are words that were spoken by my pastor this morning during a message about Grace. They spoke to me in a way that a sermon hasn't spoken to me in a long time. In theory it's a pretty simple statement. My emotions, upon hearing that statement, were anything but simple.

I've struggled with organized religion lately, for numerous reasons. One of my biggest issues with it is the hypocrites that preach and judge in the name of God.** I'm a true liberal and don't feel like it's my place to judge others behavior or lifestyle. Granted, no one is perfect and I have judged, but I try not to and I try to value the person even though I may not value the behavior. I also am a firm believer in "God is a loving God". I am a sinner, just like everyone else, but my belief system allows me to still feel loved by God. Since leaving high school and the minister who helped me to know God, I haven't found a church where I felt like my beliefs were in line with everyone else’s. I haven't found a minister/pastor/priest who could deliver messages that drew me in, spoke to me, made me question my beliefs and behaviors and also made me feel good about myself. I almost didn't try this church because I held some stereotypes about the religion. I judged. Thanks to messages like the one shared today, this church and its Pastor has reminded me to live my beliefs and let my actions speak for me. It's also reminded me how valuable keeping an open mind is.

No one would ever mistake me for a happy clapper (read religious zealot) however I'm hopeful that people find at least some of my actions to be Godly. I'm a work in progress and I'm thankful to once again know that I've received Grace.

**There are a few women I know who might read this and feel like I'm referring to them. I'm not.

8 Months...a few days late.

Dear Makenna,

Another month has come and gone. This past month seemed to go a little slower than the previous month, but I'm still in shock at how quickly you are growing and changing.

The beginning of this month found you pushing up from tummy time and starting to rock on all fours. I thought you'd be crawling by months end, but you'd get so frustrated that your progress was a bit slower than I'd anticipated. As the month came to close you were starting to scoot around and you figured out how to change directions. It won't be long before you're keeping up with me while on your hands and knees. You don't like it when I set you down and go to another room to get something so I think you'll be really happy when you're a bit more mobile.

You like being on the go. I'm wondering if that's your personality or if it's been conditioned since we don't spend much time at home. You really enjoy shopping with mom these days, especially if you get to sit in the front of the cart. You like being up high without a stroller or car seat blocking your view. You get a lot of compliments and people talking to you lately which you fully enjoy, as evidenced by the huge smiles and dimple you display. You also enjoy spending time outside at the pool and at your brother's baseball games.

Around the middle of the month you got two more teeth, within a couple days of each other. You've bitten yourself a couple times, and me too, as you've tried to figure out what those things in your mouth are for. You also grind them together which makes my skin crawl but causes you all sorts of enjoyment. You're also enjoying all the new food you can crunch with those teeth. Little bits of grilled cheese sandwiches are a huge favorite right now. In fact, if one of us have one and aren't sharing you scream at the top of your lungs. Speaking of, have I mentioned your temper???

Yes, you're a bit of a diva. I've already had to tell you "No" numerous times because you'll scream for things and continue to scream if I'm not getting them quickly enough. Your daddy and I just hang our heads and feel thankful that you and your brother can't gang up on us yet. Although we realize it's only a matter of time before that happens.

You have the cutest belly laughs and are so ticklish on your tummy and under your arms. I need to get it on camera before your little giggle changes.

You used to love playing in your jumper or exersaucer but lately you prefer hanging out on the floor surrounded by toys. Once you stopped constantly falling backwards I was thrilled to let you do so. You are so interested in how things work, as well as textures and sounds. You'll spend quite a bit of time examining toys and trying to figure out what they do. It's so fun to watch you learn and figure things out.

Just a few tidbits of info:
# of Bottles a day - 4 or 5, depends on if you're up during the night
# of naps a day - 2 or 3, depends how long they are.
Size clothes you're wearing - Anywhere from 6-12 month up to 18 month items. You're wearing some of your brothers old pj's that he was wearing when he turned 2!
Favorite Game - Patty Cake or Who's that Baby
Paci's - only to chew on if you're bored
Blanket - You're starting to look for your blanket when you lay down for a nap. I think it's so cute and love that you and your brother both love the blankets your Nana made for you.
Sippy Cup - You've just begun drinking out of one. You tend to get as much water on your top as in your mouth but you're enjoying holding the cup yourself.
Separation Anxiety - You've got it and bad. It got a bit better for about a week, but then you fell right back into it. You loooove your mommy right now. Can't say that I mind even though it can be a little frustrating when I have something to do or somewhere to go. That said, I love seeing your little eyes light up when I walk into a room. I also appreciate that just picking you up makes everything right with your world. I know that won't always be the case so I'm trying to remember to enjoy that while it lasts.

One final note, you like to be held A LOT. We love that you're such a cuddlebug, but you make it very hard to get things done around the house. You spend time in the backpack almost every day while your dad or I are folding laundry, cooking, doing dishes, etc. Thankfully you really enjoy it, I, however, wish you didn't pull my hair so much while you were up there.

I'm guessing that next months post will include some new skills for you. While I'm looking forward to those, I'd also like to be able to stop time and keep you where you're at for just a little longer. You are so sweet, so loving and so much fun to be with. As corny as this sounds, you and your brother complete the lives of your dad and I. You make us strive to be better people, you make us question our beliefs, you make us think, you make us love more and you make us learn on a daily basis. Thank you for making us better people than we would have been.

I love you Makenna Brette!
Mom